All alone.

I am deprived from the kind of life any normal person should have. My dad left when i was four, abused drugs & my mom. He left, and I haven't seen him in god knows how long. He doesn't even care about us enough to even visit, much less pay child support. I'm not good enough. I have never been in sports, extracurricular activities, or been talented in any kind of way. I'm not good enough. I try the hardest that i can to achieve what i want out of life, but it's never good enough. I poured my heart & soul out and gave everything i have to who i thought was the love of my life and got screwed over. I wasn't good enough. Even through all the pain, I still tried to work things out, but I wasn't good enough. My mom never sees the good in me, she wants me to just be away forever. I'm not good enough. No matter what I do, no matter how many times i prove that what i have done wrong is a mistake and i understand that; no matter how long i am good and behave myself, she will never forgive me for the things you would expect any teenager to do. I am never good enough. I thought I had a best friend for years, but somehow or another she forgot about me. I'm not good enough. I have only truly been able to talk to and relate to one person to my recollection, but he is gone out of my life. Not a lover, not anything to that extent, just what i would call a best friend. He could understand me and give me advice and i could easily do the same for him, and i thought he genuinely cared about me. But of course, I'm not good enough even for a best friend. My own sister, who i feel is the closest i have to a friend, doesn't seem to care about me. All she does is put me down. I know nothing about what she is feeling, which i know now is somewhat hatred. Once again, I am never good enough. I'm alone in this cold, deceiving, manipulating world, with nobody to endure it with. I need someone to talk to, to appreciate who i am, to understand me, i need a best friend, a lover, anybody. Please be my somebody.