Confusion

Where is there to begin? My thoughts and every action are lost. I don't know what to think, to do, to say, or even to feel anymore. My life was you, you were my life, you were all that mattered to me, all i needed, and now you are gone. I feel you will never come back to me. I have done everything in my power to bring us together once again. To this day, I will still do anything for you, for us. But it just isn't enough for you. At times you seem to love me and want me back, but I know that isn't true. I don't believe you care about me anymore. In fact, you strive to hurt me. Everything you can do in your power that you know would upset me, you do with the greatest of ease. Yet, to this day, I would still take you back. Confusion: the state of being mixed or blended so as to produce indistinctness or error. The one word to describe everything i feel. When I take a step back and just forget all of the hurt and stupid mistakes, all I want out of life is to be with you. I can see us living our lives together, forever & always, like we promised each other. I would be the happiest girl in the world, and I would be able to forgive and forget, just as we are supposed to. What happened to you wanting a second chance? Living every day life without you can be bearable when I don't think about you. But when i think about our love, or rather my love for you, I just break down. I could cry for the rest of my life, I feel. The love of my life is gone, without even a goodbye.